Talking behind people's backs

So, during a convo with my dear mother earlier, I have come to the conclusion that: I am annoyed by all my friends on facebook who keep complaining about people talking about them behind their backs.  Firstly, if this really happens all the time and the person obviously doesn't like you then, you know, that sucks but move on and just don't be friends with that person any more.  If they are your enemy anyway then just ignore them or something...I don't know, I'm not sure that I have any real enemies.  But if they are people that you are close to, this thought occurred to us: Sometimes people who love you complain about you to their other friends or family members BECAUSE they care about you so much.  Perhaps you have done something that they find annoying, but not annoying enough to want to make a big stink about it to you or hurt your feelings over it.  They just need to vent a little and then carry on with loving you.  If you have found out about what they said then obviously they have made a poor choice of who it was that they vented to, and it is extremely unfortunate that you are now hurt by something that they said to someone else and not to you for the very purpose of not hurting you. (run-on sentence alert!)  But, I would venture to say that most if not all of us vent to a trusted friend about things like this from time to time, so maybe you should remember that you yourself may have done the very same thing in the past, and I personally don't feel that makes any of us horrible people, just humans. 

mean thoughts

Have you ever seen two people together as a couple and thought, "Woah.  What the heck?  She is WAY too hot for him! What is she doing with him?" or he's too hot for her, you get the idea.  And then ya go, "Wow, self, that was a really mean thought."  But it's too late.  Ya thought it anyway, and there was no stopping it.  It was even worse in high school, cuz there were girls that I didn't think were very attractive and they somehow never were without a date, and sometimes they got really cute guys, and I was like......  ?!?!   Nobody asks me out at all, but meanwhile she's got HIM?  And the generally accepted pronouncement when discussing this obvious injustice of the universe with friends was, "She must be a slut."  lol  How mean is THAT?!  Nobody said, "Maybe she has a really great personality." or even "Maybe her older brother buys them beer."  lol  Nope.  Had to be a slut factor there, that was the only explanation. *sigh*  I am so glad I am not a teenager any more.  They're so cruel.  I barely even liked myself when I was that age.  And my poor mother!  I remember screaming at her in the mornings because I couldn't get my hair the way I wanted it.  She was probably praying every night, "Please God, just help me get through these teen years without killing her!"

Pastimes vs. Pastimes

When Jessy has down time when he doesn't have to be at work, he plays video games and reads.  That's pretty much the extent of it.  Very transient hobbies with nothing to show for them when you finish. 
I play the odd game, read some, draw and play music on occasion, and waste some time on Facebook (although less than some might think, because I am often sitting in front of the computer but doing something else entirely, like knitting, but I'm still watching posts and things like that).  But above all, I am a craft whore. 
I tend to think my way of spending down time as better and more valuable than Jessy's, because I am being productive.  I'm making something.  Plus I'm keeping some old ways alive that if it weren't for hobbyists would be extinct.  But is any of this a valid point really?  Is my time more meaningfully spent just because I end up with a usable product in the end? The things I make are readily available at every mega-mart in America, and sometimes at cheaper prices than what I can make them for.  My hobbies clutter up our home with supplies and tools lying all over and overflowing from plastic storage bins, while Jessy's video games fit nicely in one cupboard and the controllers go in an ottoman that opens up.  And how many socks and washcloths, bracelets, bars of soap, etc. does one person really need?  Of course I can give them as gifts, but nobody gets too excited when they get them.  My crafts are far less expensive in terms of how many hours of activity they provide me vs. how many hours he gets from each video game purchase.   And my crafts (mostly) do not require any electricity, which I reckon might make them a little more environmentally friendly. 
Well, I've kinda tapered out here and don't have a closing statement or anything, so, yeah.... The End.  lol

Domestics

If you'd asked me 5 years ago what I wanted to do with my life, I'd say I wanted to be a housewife.  If you asked me today I'd probably say the same thing, but with less assurance.  lol  I always wanted to be that wife who has all her husband's clothes clean and fresh smelling and hanging up nicely pressed in the closet and folded in the drawers.  We live out of laundry baskets, & I hardly ever get around to folding or hanging.  If something needs ironed it just doesn't get worn.  I wanted to keep my house sparkling clean and scented with candles or potpourri.  Right now there's a ring in the tub, both toilets need scrubbed, there are dishes soaking in the kitchen, the floors haven't been swept in over a month, and there's junk laying all over the living room.  And I can't get the boys to take out the trash promptly, so sometimes our home sports an unpleasant fragrance.  I want to have a wonderful, delicious, healthy dinner ready every night, and bake cookies, cakes, pies, breads, etc.  Often I forget to take meat out to thaw.  Sometimes I just don't feel like it.  Sometimes I have to wash dishes just to gain enough counter space in our small kitchen to prepare anything.  If it involves a rolling pin it's pretty much outta the question, that's just too much work. 
I only work "part time," but often get 30-35 hours in a week.  I work very hard at my job.  It is not a desk job, and it is very demanding (as are the customers!).  If I work two 8-9 hour days in a row, I come home tired, often hurting, and realize that if I'm gonna be in bed in time to get up and do it again tomorrow, I've gotta get dinner started, eat, do dishes, and go to bed, meanwhile the house is a mess everywhere I look.  It's like coming home from one job only to start a second one.  The boys do not understand.  They come home and just chill out, do absolutely nothing.  They have no obligations, they have no chores, except to take out the trash, which they don't do anyway.  I can come home and sit around and PRETEND that I have nothing else to do, but it's always there waiting for me, getting more and more out of hand, becoming a bigger and bigger monster lurking in the corners ready to cause me to have a nervous breakdown. 
I HATE washing dishes with mad, passionate hatred.  I actually love cooking, but there's a big difference between cooking because I want to cook and cooking because I'm expected to, and being expected to every single night.  I'm a messy person.  A lot of the junk lying around the house does belong to me, and yes, I should have tidied it up when I was done.  But the thing is, the boys are messy too, but, I always end up cleaning up my own junk and theirs too, but nobody else EVER cleans up after themselves, let alone clean up after me in return.  If I don't do it, nobody else is going to.  And somehow it's my responsibility.  Somehow I'm expected to.  And if company comes over, nobody is ever gonna thing anything about the guys, there just gonna think, "Geez, she's a really bad housekeeper!" 
I guess I have 2 points here, and I better wrap it up.  1)  I am not a maid, and I am not "Mom."  I should not have to work and do all the housework just because I am a girl.  2) If I did not have to work outside the home, and could devote all my time to keeping the house nice and being Donna Reed, ...would I do it?  Would I suddenly become Holly Housewife and do all that stuff I want to do, or would I still hate it and resent having to do it, and put it off till I can't stand it?

Jill of all trades

Back in the day of apprenticeships, or in the world of the caste system, people learned to do one thing, only one thing, and that was your job, your livelihood, your life. And even today some people do this by choice.  They pick one thing, and say, "This is what I'm going to do, and I'm going to do it as well as I possibly can."  These are the people who rise to the top of their game, becoming experts.  The people that everyone else looks to when they want to know how to do whatever it is they do.  I can't do this.  I want to do EVERYTHING!!  Honestly, everything.  I want to knit, crochet, sew, embroider, quilt, scrapbook, make soap, make jewelry, cook like a pro, grow my own veggies, milk a cow, fly a plane, spin yarn, weave tapestries, work glass, metal work, computer repair and programming, artisan cheese making, bread baking, pastry, candy making, chocolate making, playing every musical instrument ever invented, carpentry, plumbing, book binding, fixing a car, hair cutting and styling, and about a billion other things.  I will never learn to do them all, and I will definitely never be a master/expert at any of them, because I keep shifting from one thing to another.  But I like the idea of having a basic knowledge of how to do anything and everything.  I think it gives an appreciation for things and how they're made or done and the people who make them or do them.  Plus it's just cool to be able to say, "Yeah, I can do that."  :)  Your pipe burst?  Oh, I can fix that.  Wiring lose?  Oh, I'm a trained electrician, let me fix that.  The computer systems of the world fail or some horrible natural disaster affects the entire world and we're all reduced to doing and making everything for ourselves?  Oh, yes, I can grow my own vegetables and make my own soap and turn wool or cotton into clothing and blankets, and I can chop down trees and build a shelter, and I know how to collect water that is safe to drink.  No problem.  Not only that but I can melt down metal to make us tools, and precious metals to make jewelry, and I can make a musical instrument and play it for you in the evenings for entertainment, and I can dye threads pretty colors and stitch little flowers on the clothes I made you from the sheep I sheared and the cotton I picked.  Yup. 

the warning

Quite often you get more appreciation for helping someone when they are already in trouble than for trying to help them keep out of trouble before they are in it.  I've found that warnings, no matter how helpfully intended and no matter how politely or lovingly presented, are often disregarded, or the person may even get angry.  Where-as, heartless as it seems, if you just sit by quietly, and then help if they do end up getting in trouble, they're pleased as punch with you. Of course if you're really close to the person, like family or a best friend, you have to warn them anyway and just deal with it cuz you love them.  But I think for acquaintances or strangers, sometimes it's better to just let them go on their way.

food overload

Sometimes I get to the point where I'm starving, so I head to the kitchen.  There's not anything I can really make quickly... there's bread...Toast!  Ok, what kind of toast?  Peanut butter toast, cinnamon toast, toast with jam, there's blackberry jam and apricot preserves, and then there's good old classic buttered toast.  Those all sound good.  Maybe I'll just make a bunch of them.  Ya know, grilled cheese sounds good too.  And an egg sandwich.  Maybe some popcorn.    ...It's usually around this point that I realize I've just listed off wwwwaaaaayyyy more things than I can possibly eat.  (And all of them involve butter.  mmmm...butter!)