The road runs past my door, leaving me behind.

Chef Buck from YouTube is kinda makin' me feel antsy.  Like life is passing me by and I am not living it.  He's always doing something fun and thinking about fun things, and cooking unusual stuff.  I kind of feel in a rut.  Like, yeah, it's cool that I knit and make soap, but I spend a lot of time just sitting around, playing stupid pointless games online....why do we play these games?  Whether it's Farmville or Solitare or Zuma...it's pointless!  Do you have anything to show after you play? No!  Does it expand your mind or your world?  I think not.  Why do we do it?  It's not like I'm not interested in other things in the world, cuz I'm interested in billions of things, except sports, politics, and news.  I know, I know, everybody likes those things, but not me.  Sorry.  Anyway, I feel kinda like a hermit.  Jess & I are not really "going out" people.  We're homebodies.  We're not social.  What I really wish is that there was a bigger creative community around here, where I could go to Stitch & Bitch meetings, and have other soapers to talk to, or take cooking classes, or painting classes.  Like I'd have money for classes anyway!  lol  I can't even do half the crap I see on FoodNetwork or anything, because for one it's often too expensive, for another my guys are picky eaters and reluctant to try new things especially if they don't involve meats, and third a lot of the things they use are just not available around here.  Not sure, but I think it's pretty hard to find stuff like jicama, quinoa, Asian foods and sauces, squid  (not sure I really wanna try squid, but that's not the point right now), etc.  I just wanna DO things.  I wanna be interesting.  I wanna be an amazing cook, and I wanna be able to fix plumbing, and I wanna fly a plane, and I wanna have experiences.  But I feel like I need money, and a better car, and better resources available to me, and for Jessy to be more excited (or at ALL excited) about doing and trying new things, so I have somebody to go live with, and make stories and funny experiences.  Not that I wanna ditch Jessy and find somebody who wants to do things.  I don't mean that at all.  Him's ma baby.  I'd love to do all this stuff with him, so that we could be together and bond and what-not, but it's ok that he doesn't really wanna.  Especially since I can't really do them anyway.  I could always find a friend who wants to do stuff if and when I get money together.  Really need a stitch & bitch group.  Just not sure there are enough yarn crafters in the area to get one together!  I feel very alone sometimes, even though I know there must be other crafters out there, judging by how much yarn we sell.  Whatever.  I gotta get to bed. :)